The more I learn the more I see that your mindset is the most important thing to pay attention to when you are trying to accomplish something.
I think this is great news because you can shift your mindset in an instant!
I was thinking about all the jokes and talk about how people don’t accomplish their New Year’s resolutions and also all the tips and “how to’s” that flood the media this time of year.
Yet, only about 8% of people keep their resolutions each year – even with all these tips.
But what if we could just shift our mindset and get the results we want for ourselves in a much easier way?
Would we have a better chance of keeping our resolutions and achieving all our other goals throughout the entire year?
I’ve put together 9 different mindset shifts and reframes that should help you keep your resolutions.
Or better yet…
Trade In Your New Year’s Resolutions For Higher Standards!
1. It Is The Decision After The Decision That Matters Most
If you think about it, it is the decision after the decision that really counts.
Making a New Year’s resolution to go to the gym each day after work is a great decision.
And an easy decision to make – anyone could get behind that idea.
But it is all the little decisions that you make AFTER the main decision that will bring you success.
The little decision you make to pack your gym bag the night before is even more important to your success than the initial decision to go to the gym.
The little decision you make to skip happy hour with your co-workers and go to the gym after a long work day is even more important than that resolution-making first decision you had.
What if your New Year’s resolution is to get more clients?
That is an easy decision to make, right?
But that isn’t
The more important decision is to be visible each day on social media.
The more important decision is to pitch three podcasts per week that you would like to be a guest on.
Sometimes success is consistency, not intensity.
2. Be Prepared For Your Inner Two-Year-Old
Another factor in your success with keeping your New Year’s resolutions is what you are telling yourself about the decision and/or being prepared for resistance or your inner two-year-old to come.
Does it feel like your inner two-year-old is sometimes running your life?
You know what she is going to say.
You’ve heard it time and time again.
You have to be ready for her and preplan your answer and behavior in response to her.
Much like a loving parent would.
Here is what I mean –
Let’s keep going with the earlier gym example.
Your mind is lazy and probably has been stuck in the same rut for years.
So you have to prepare what you are going to say to your inner two-year-old or resistance when it pops up.
You have to retrain your mind one thought at a time.
Let’s say you have skipped happy hour after work (great job!) and you are on your way to the gym.
But then all these thoughts still come to you as you drive to the gym.
“You should just skip the gym today and go home, you’re tired.”
“You should really get home and catch up on some work.”
“You should just do a double workout tomorrow when you feel more energetic – it is Monday after all.”
“Besides it will probably be warmer tomorrow anyway and you can exercise outside.”
These thoughts will come.
You know they will.
So be prepared for them.
Separate yourself from them.
And follow through on what you’ve scheduled and promised yourself anyway.
You have to become the boss (or think of it as the loving parent) of your own mind to get the results and not let resistance, old habits, or your inner two-year-old takeover.
We have to stop waiting around to feel good in order to take action.
We have to get ourselves in a feeling-good-state first, then take inspired action.
Take imperfect action!
You can’t let your mood determine what actions you take in your life or business.
3. Drop The Imposter Syndrome and “Act As If”
A lot of time procrastination or resistance shows up when trying to accomplish a New Year’s resolution.
When you really look at procrastination, resistance, and avoiding actions you know you should accomplish, it is usually based on some sort of fear or self-doubt.
Remember our minds are lazy, they like to stick with what has been done before and comfortable.
Our minds don’t want to work too hard – they like to be comfortable.
When you are attempting to do something new or uncomfortable, you might feel like a fraud.
I hear this a lot with my clients.
They feel like they are not ready to claim their ideal clients or expertise yet.
Even if they are not ready, I encourage them to “act as if”.
Start acting like the person you’d like to become.
This isn’t the “fake it till you make it” technique.
This is expanding and growing into the person you’d like to become.
Or, think of it as getting gradually comfortable at bringing your true self out.
For example, think of a woman in a beginner yoga class.
She is kind of wobbly and not comfortable with her own body in these poses just yet.
She is learning and just going through the motions, but hasn’t really embodied the work yet.
You wouldn’t say she is faking it, would you?
Or, think of a toddler just learning to walk?
Are they faking it?
Most would say, “no”.
So don’t give up your New Year’s resolution before you’ve had time to try it on and practice it so you can fully embody it.
My clients are always so surprised just how fast they are able to claim their expertise once they start “acting as if”.
They think about the person they want to become and start taking the actions their future self would take.
And what do you know?
Then they can’t argue with me that they are faking it because they have become that person by definition.
4. Doubt The Doubt
Doubt will always come up when you are trying something new or when you are trying to make a new routine a habit.
What I like to suggest is to “Doubt the doubt.”
Let me explain.
There is a reason you had that initial gut feeling or desire to make the change or take an action in the first place.
But then all the doubt and reasons why you shouldn’t do something start to creep in along with a lot of negative self-talk.
So… doubt the doubt.
Don’t think that your initial true desire is the wrong one.
Think that all the negative ones that come after it are the wrong thoughts.
That initial desire is there for a reason.
Know that the doubt that comes up afterward is the misplaced thought.
When you are ready for these negative thoughts, you can spot them.
The doubt doesn’t creep up on you any longer.
Expect the doubt. Be ready for it.
Welcome it even.
Thank it for coming, show it the exit, and get on with the action steps that will create the outcome you want for yourself.
Need an example?
Let’s say you want to start a YouTube channel.
You have something you want to teach and share with the world.
You are so excited!
Then as you start to film your first video, hundreds of negative thoughts start going through your mind.
When you doubt the doubt it might go something like this…
“Oh, I thought you (here is where you enter any negative thought) might show up here today. Thank you for coming but we’re doing this anyway.”
Remember no one can make you feel a certain way but YOU!
5. Drop the Drama and Addiction To Struggle
I’ve noticed the addiction to struggle a lot lately.
Remember earlier when we talked about our minds being lazy and stuck in a rut?
Our minds like to stay the same and feel comfortable.
Well, this is a sad but true fact – the rut itself can be the struggle.
We feel comfortable with it and don’t want to change.
Change takes more thought and work than keeping the status quo, even when the rut is to avoid something negative like struggling.
We are so used to struggling and creating dramatic thoughts around what we do each day that we’ve become addicted to it.
We literally don’t know what to do with ourselves when things are coming to us in a simple, effortless, or easy way.
We are addicted to struggle and making things way more complex and complicated than they need to be.
Watch yourself and see if you are creating more busy work for yourself or thinking about obstacles that are not really there.
6. Be Happy With Your Decision, No Matter What!
Being happy with your decision is similar to the “Doubting The Doubt”, but there is a subtle difference.
Being happy with your decision is about not second-guessing yourself all the time.
Second-guessing keeps us in procrastination and paralysis.
Second-guessing can breed competition and comparison.
So make the best decision you can and be happy with it no matter what!
7. The Facts vs. The Stories You Are Telling Yourself About The Facts
Often, it isn’t the facts of the situation that is causing
It is the story we are creating in our heads around the facts that are the real challenge.
New Year’s resolutions can cause all types of stories to come up.
For example, maybe you have a goal to lose weight in the new year.
This is a fact.
We can prove it with a scale.
But it is the downward spin and story you create around your weight loss that is what causes all the stress.
It might go something like this…
“Oh no! I’ve put on some weight over the holidays! I’m never going to lose it in time for my vacation this spring where I was hoping to meet a nice guy and now I’ll never get married or have kids!”
All this stressful story and urgency from a simple number on the scale!
Catch yourself in these situations and separate the fact from the story you are creating around the fact.
8. Be Clear, Decide, and Schedule It
Arguing with yourself is not allowed!
Ever notice how much time and mental space we spend thinking about what we should do or not do after we make a decision?
Another reason many of us fail with our New Year’s resolutions is the fact that we are constantly “arguing” with ourselves about whether we should do something or not.
It is that initial decision that is important.
Make that decision.
Decide what is important to you and what you would like to do or achieve.
Then schedule it.
Put it on your calendar.
Scheduling the tasks or actions that will complete or help you to achieve your decisions that you’ve made does two things.
One, once it is on your calendar and
Treat appointments with yourself as important as the ones that you have scheduled with your clients or even as important as a job interview.
You would probably show up eager, excited, early, and dressed to impress for a job interview, right?
So why not schedule and show up for yourself and your goals in the same way?
The second benefit of scheduling the actions of your decisions is that you are in reality about what you can accomplish.
Never-ending to-do lists are an illusion, your calendar isn’t.
Your calendar is a reality check for your to-do list.
(By the way, if you would like more support in working without a to-do list, check out my Alignment with Aloha course)
9. Hold Yourself To Higher Standards, Not Resolutions
The best way I have found to achieve goals and keep resolutions is to think in terms of higher standards.
Create higher standards for yourself and ditch the New Year’s resolutions!
When you reframe your New Year’s resolution into a higher standard phrase it feels more like an act of self-care than deprivation.
Let’s look at the most common New Year’s resolutions and how to reframe them so you can see what I mean…
“Losing Weight and Eating Healthier” becomes “I only eat the highest quality whole foods (no processed foods) and move my body each day in an activity that I enjoy.”
“Quit Smoking” becomes “I only breathe clean air.”
“Get A New Job” becomes “Instead of joining my co-workers at happy hour, I’m going to revise my resume and search for some job online.”
“Get More Clients/Increase Business” becomes “Each work day I focus on revenue-generating activities.”
“Get Out of Debt” becomes “I know exactly how much I owe and I have a plan to pay it off as quick as possible.”
“Save Money” becomes “I never let my bank account go below $______ .”
“Get Organized” becomes “My environment is always clean and everything I own has its own home within my space.”
“Spend More Time With Family” becomes “We schedule plans/an outing every Sunday and have
“Manage Stress Better” becomes “I meditate and/or journal for at least 10 minutes per day.”
“Stop Procrastinating” becomes “I schedule what is important to me and show up for myself as if I had the appointment with a client.”
“Improve Relationship” becomes “We schedule time each week to do something together without technology.”
“Have Better Sleep” becomes “I set an alarm for one hour before I desire to go to sleep so that I can enjoy my night routine without being rushed and I’m able to get eight hours sleep each night.”
“Spend Less Time On Facebook/Social Media” becomes “I schedule one hour three times per week to check in on my marketing activities/friends on Facebook. I’ve also deleted the app from my phone.”
“Spend Less Time Watching TV/YouTube“ becomes “I’m excited that I finally have time to read all those books that were suggested to me.”
“Get Rid of Old Clothes” becomes “I only wear what fits and is in good condition. I only wear what represents the person I am now or becoming.”
So you see, setting higher standards for yourself takes the dread and shame out of the resolution process.
Upgrade your New Year’s resolutions with higher standards!
What are some things that you are no longer going to tolerate or make yourself available for this year?
Ask yourself, are to going to start “acting as if” or settle for “what is”?
What little decisions can you make to support the bigger decision?
How will you reframe your resolutions into having higher standards for yourself?
I’d love to hear about them!
If you would like support in creating both mindset and productivity shifts to create the habits that will attract high-paying clients and build your freedom based luxury lifestyle, then I invite you to reserve your FREE Aloha Strategy Session today!
Business Coach & Mentor | Freedom Based Luxury Lifestyle Designer | Digital Marketing Expert | Minimalist
Don’t forget to check out my Alignment with Aloha course and say “aloha” (goodbye) to your to-do list forever!